Purposefully misgendering (using the wrong pronouns or ignoring the pronouns in use) is also offensive and disrespectful to trans and gender non-confirming individuals.Ī pronoun is a word that refers to either the people talking (“I” or “you”) or someone or something that is being talked about (like “she”, “it”, “them”, and “this”). These are offensive slurs used against trans and gender non-conforming individuals. ![]() Just my name please! (Ash ate Ash’s food because Ash was hungry) Some people prefer not to use pronouns at all, using their name as a pronoun instead.ĭo not refer to a person as “it” or “he-she”.Hir is pronounced like “here” and replaces her/hers/him/his/they/theirs. Ze/hir/hir (Tyler ate hir food because ze was hungry.) Ze is pronounced like “zee” can also be spelled zie or xe, and replaces she/he/they.In fact, “they” was voted as the Word of the Year in 2015. They/them/theirs (Shea ate their food because they were hungry.) This is a pretty common gender-neutral pronoun and it can be used in the singular.There are also lots of other pronouns in use, some of them more gender neutral. Some people call these “feminine” and “masculine” pronouns, but many people avoid these labels because not everyone who uses he feels “masculine.” She/her/hers and he/him/his are a few commonly used pronouns. Asking someone “can I use these pronouns for you in front of other people?” is a good way of making sure you do not accidently out or misrepresent someone. ![]() However, some closeted people may not be ready to publicly share their pronouns, so if someone does not supply them in front of a group, try asking in a more private setting. It is important to remember that by asking everyone you encounter which pronouns they use, you can help create a more normalized and safe way for others to share their pronouns, which they may not have been able to do before. So you could say, ‘she went to her car’ if you were talking about me.” For example, I’m Xena, I’m from Amazon Island, and I like to be referred to with she, her, and hers pronouns. That means the pronouns that you use in reference to yourself. If you are asking as part of an introduction exercise and you want to quickly explain what gender pronouns are, you can try something like this: “Tell us your name, where you come from, and your pronouns. Try asking: “What pronouns do you use?” or “Can you remind me what pronouns you use?” It can feel awkward at first, but it is not half as awkward as making a hurtful assumption. Your actions will be greatly appreciated. Would you be okay with me taking them aside and reminding them about your pronouns?” Follow up if necessary, but take your cues from the comfort level of your student. It may be appropriate to approach them and say something like “I noticed that you were getting referred to with the wrong pronoun earlier, and I know that that can be really hurtful. If other students or faculty are consistently using the wrong pronouns for someone, do not ignore it! It is important to let your student know that you are their ally. This means saying something like “Alex uses the pronoun she,” and then moving on. In most cases, it is appropriate to gently correct them without further embarrassing the individual who has been misgendered. Taking an active role in your classes, you may hear one of your students using the wrong pronoun for someone. Please don’t! It is inappropriate and makes the person who was misgendered feel awkward and responsible for comforting you, which is absolutely not their job. If you realize your mistake after the fact, apologize in private and move on.Ī lot of the time it can be tempting to go on and on about how bad you feel that you messed up or how hard it is for you to get it right. ![]() The best thing to do if you use the wrong pronoun for someone is to say something right away, like “Sorry, I meant (insert pronoun)”. It’s okay! Everyone slips up from time to time.
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